Memorial Reborns
Memorial reborns are dolls specifically created to look like a child that the parents have lost (an “angel baby”). Nothing will replace a lost child, but a memorial reborn is an appealing way to remember them. Some parents have memorial pillows, bracelets, quilts, or websites. All of these help to capture memories, but none of these can fill the space quite like a reborn can.
There is an invisible emptiness in the home where the child should be. A reborn makes the pain tangible so the parent can grieve. There is a void in the parents’ arms, and it hurts so much that sometimes they can’t even mourn and so they can‘t begin to heal. I lost a baby at 4 months, and I took physical traits from my husband and I to make a memorial reborn of what I thought our lost son would have looked like. The first time I held that reborn, it relieved the “empty arms” syndrome so that I could finally grieve. I cried for a long time, but it was a healing hurt, because there was proof of my pain and the baby I could never hold.
When creating a memorial baby, the artist will work with the parent, to create a doll that will hold precious memories for the whole family. The artist needs to keep in mind that this is a very personal experience for the parent, having a doll made to honor their lost child. The parents need to keep in mind that this is an art form, the reborn artist knows their stuff and needs room to create.
If there is a picture, the artist will use that to make the reborn look as close to the angel baby as possible. There might be some exceptions or touch-ups (think Photoshop editing) for coloring and facial features of babies lost before full term, but usually a picture will help a lot in creating the doll. If there are no pictures, the artist can use baby pictures of siblings or parents, to get the skin tone, hair coloring and thickness, and other details for the doll.
The parents will usually also need to give the artist other information - do they want the baby sleeping/awake, preemie/newborn/other size, and (if the reborn is true-to-size of the lost baby) the weight/length. Some parents will have lost a baby at 6 months and want a full newborn-sized reborn. That is no problem, but it needs to be explained that a doll that is 19 inches long will be light as a feather if it only weighs 1-2lbs. Likewise, a baby lost a full-term, 0-3 month size, will feel like a gallon of milk if it weighs 8lbs. Think of the reborn as a child fast asleep - much heavier than a real baby (an awake child). The artist will weigh the reborn to feel like an actual baby, not the actual weight of a baby.
There is a lot of negative media publicity about reborns, which contributes to the negative feelings of the general public towards memorial reborns. Like anything - candy or video games, for instance - people can take these realistic dolls too far. But, for most parents, memorial reborns are a harmless and even helpful way to remember their child.
Sabriam Garcia
Eden’s Little Ones Nursery
www.edenslittleones.com
